Sometimes, people are taken completely by surprise when they are served with divorce papers or when their partner tells them they want to divorce. While there are certainly cases that come out of the blue and are unexpected, you will find that there are often some indicators or predictors that can let you know when the relationship is on the rocks. By learning about some of these predictors, you can get a better sense of whether there is a problem in your marriage and whether you need to talk with your partner, go to counseling, or prepare for divorce.
Someone Stops Wearing Their Ring
If your spouse no longer wears their wedding ring or takes it off regularly, it could be an indicator that there is trouble. In some cases, it might even be you that stops wearing their ring all the time. If you were the type of person that used to always wear the ring and now you stopped, you will want to examine why. It could be for any number of reasons. Perhaps you gained weight or lost weight and the ring is no longer comfortable to wear. Maybe you lost it. Perhaps you take it off when you go to the gym, so it doesn’t get snagged on equipment.
Often, this is a subconscious and psychological sign that you or your spouse is creating distance.
Changing Passwords and/or Privacy Boundaries
If you or your spouse has started setting up new boundaries on information, it doesn’t always mean that someone is hiding something or that they are cheating. However, if you were the type of couple that shared information and passwords, and now things have changed, it is a risk factor. It could be a predictor that you are headed toward a divorce.
Have Your Routines Become Incompatible?
Have you found that your schedules and your habits are no longer compatible with one another? Do you go to sleep and wake up at different times? Are you finding ways that you can build quality time into the relationship, or have you found that you tend to be avoiding one another? In these cases, it could indicate a lack of intimacy and commitment, and perhaps a lack of trust.
What’s Your Time Like Together?
When you do spend time together, what’s it like? How compatible are you? One of the questions that you will want to ask yourself is what your sex life is like. Every couple is different, so frequency is not as important as quality and intimacy. When this starts to fall apart, it can indicate a problem in the relationship.
Also, consider what you do when you have downtime. Are you spending time together? Do you have any hobbies that you both enjoy or do you go your separate ways? Do you still confide in one another? What’s the friendship aspect of your relationship? Do you laugh with one another? Do you feel respected and loved? These are very important questions that you need to ask yourself. If you find that the answers are negative, they are risk factors in your relationship that could predict divorce.
Of course, most couples go through rough patches. It doesn’t always mean that you are going to get a divorce. However, these are things that you will want to be aware of and consider. Once you can spot these types of issues, you can both try to make some changes that could put you back onto a happier path.
How Do You Fight?
Are your arguments constructive and respectful, or are you feeling contempt from your spouse when you fight? This is a major risk factor. If the two of you put one another down or interrupt one another, it shows a lack of respect for the other person. In these cases, it’s almost certain that you will end up divorced. This is also often a sign that you are in an unhappy marriage. It may be a good idea to seek counseling if you hope to save the relationship.
What Do You See for Your Future?
What do you want in the future? What are your goals and aspirations? When you examine those goals, do you see yourself being able to attain them with your spouse? You need to think about your goals on money, on raising your kids, and what your overall values are. If they are not compatible with your spouse, then it’s a sign that a divorce might be the better option.
How Should You Prepare?
If you are at risk based on the factors discussed above, you want to make sure that you are as prepared as possible for a divorce. If things are headed that way, the number one thing that you will want to do is simplify your life. This means that you do not want to make large purchases, you do not want to take on more debt. You shouldn’t move away from friends and family. When you simplify your life, it can make it easier to heal your relationship or to have a support system in place for when you get a divorce.
During this time, you will also want to get a full sense of your obligations. What do you have for income? What are your debts? What are your assets? Can you pay all of your bills? Could you support two households on the income that you have now? You need to have a plan that is realistic and practical.
It’s also a good idea to change your beneficiaries and your estate plan as soon as possible. Once you start divorce proceedings, you will not be able to make any changes until the divorce is final. It’s better to take a preemptive approach. Remember, there is no such thing as overplanning.
When the time comes to get a divorce, you will also want to be sure that you get in touch with a divorce attorney in Scottsdale AZ. Working with an attorney can help you to understand what’s happening at each step of the divorce.